A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.

"What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. 

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!" 

"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" 

"Have a nice night", said the officer.

Because a man is unfaithful to you is no reason to leave him. You should stay with him and make sure the rest of his life is a living hell. - Roseanne Barr